Oh My Fucking God!!! I just recognized that uneasy feeling which was nagging at me since the hard drive on my laptop crashed. My Journal! And all the poems that I had written.. All gone.. No chance of recovering any of it. That journal! 1 year of my life, one year of despair- all gone, in another moment of despair! Maybe it's a good thing, there's one less thing to remind me of the uneasy past, maybe the worst time of my yet short life..

But it is mortifying, all the same...