To all my "Friends"

Don't need no girls, don't need no friends,
All i want is another cigarette.
Don't need your concern, keep away your false
sympathy.
Just give me a nice long drag..

Been through all the shit you throw,
Seen all the love you can show.
Keep your feelings close to you,
Just give me another cigarette.

Feeling a little buzzed out now,
a couple of downers down,
and the nicotine going out.
Please light me up another one.

Why is the pack so empty now,
where did you throw them away?
Didn't I say fuck off bitches,
All you false friends keep away.

Not one of you ever listens to me,
not one, but this burning end.
It burns me, but hey,
at least it doesn't pretend.

So don't nag me now,
don't stop me since you never cared.
Don't come at me now,
My pains you never shared.

Just leave me alone with a light,
let me smoke my last in peace.
For all you ever did,
was use me and then leave.

No this ain't for just you dear,
and not just the one who cried.
(false tears), they ever were,
false as the circles i blow.


This is for all you who dare
Call you my friends, and lie.
Did you ever think you were
worth the ash I threw away?

You told me your tales,
made me do your dirty work,
then left me when i needed a friend
With your conscience unbothered.

How I long for my one true friend
that kills me with every breath,
Just hand me a pack,
and no, don't pity me, hag!

I pull in the smoke,
feel it burning my throat,
choke on the last drag,
I won't last long.

But hey, who cares, right?
For I am alone,
now and forever,
My life the endless night.

THe only thing that shall
never desert me,
is the smoke,
burning my eyes.

Sleepless Night

Sitting awake in the death of the night,
where stars begin to fail,
THe soft glow of the screen before me,
a silent terror of tonight,
A dead weight on my heart, dusty
and clouded eyes of mine, wondering.

How did I end up here, alone and forsaken?
Whose blood is it that cakes my hands,
darkening to brown, the red giving way?
Bereft of senses, escaping the tide,
that's clamping upon my throat,
smothering the sob that rises.

A man's tears, they are precious,
And never shall I shed one,
for they are a strength answerable
to none, except myself alone.
And thus I sit, awake,
Still wondering at my predicament.

My eyes refuse to close, denying
me even the sanctuary of nothingness.
A single sigh enters,
through the almost closed window.
I look up to see the curtains flutter
And die again, like hope in my life.

In the basest of human desires,
I look for solace, and find it too.
But at a cost of losing my sanity?
But no.. even that hope deserts me.
I sense yet the approaching morning,
and am afraid again.

With the passing hours, realization
Dawns, coming together with the
memory of my blood soaked hands,
and the pain inside, that hurts more.
THe wind dies down, patiently waiting
for a cry from me.

For a moment I feel someone,
standing behind me, almost..
Assuring me I wasn't alone.
False hope, as always..
For noone ever shall care,
like noone ever has.

The blood hardening on my hands,
is my own, As is the wound deep
inside. The marks are long gone.
the pain yet remains, blunt
and hurts all the more for that.
A reminder of my naive thoughts.